Cheeto Fried Chicken

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If you don’t love Cheetos, I don’t trust you.  I’m pretty sure it means that you have a deeply repressed part of you that won’t allow you to experience joy/love/trans fats and that just seems unnatural to me.

 Cheeto dust glamour shot.

Cheeto dust glamour shot.

I’m a big advocate for balance.  Eat this chicken and enjoy it, ok?  I don’t want to hear any griping.  Take a nap after, because you’ll probably feel like shit, but it will be worth it.  There are some foods (Cheetos) that I’m never going to eliminate from my diet, so I’m just going to love myself and not feel guilty when I eat them because that is very useless.  I’m also not going to eat these every day.  (I keep reminding myself of that.)

 chaos in my mouth and in my life.

chaos in my mouth and in my life.

I personally really love orange food, especially if that orange color comes from a chemical that I cannot recreate in my own home.  That’s the good stuff, if you ask me.  Kraft macaroni and cheese is a flavor all to itself that should not be compared to other things.  Kraft Mac&Cheese should not be compared to macaroni and cheese that is made with cheddar cheese.  The two foods do not fulfill the same nutritional needs.

 this recipe is a great way to eat the rainbow!

this recipe is a great way to eat the rainbow!

But I digress.  Let me focus on the orange food in question which is (are?) Cheetos!  If we cover chicken in Cheeto dust, and deep fry it, we might be allowed to call it a meal.  That would be a feat of human mental strength that we could all be proud of, right?  I think so.  I’m all about mentally muscling my way into eating things that are not really food for meals.  Join me.

 sprinkle your chicken with extra cheeto dust for a beautiful serving experience.

sprinkle your chicken with extra cheeto dust for a beautiful serving experience.

These wings fall into a new category of food I’m creating called “fratty fine-dining”.  Basically, this is a food I can imagine a bunch of gnarly dudes going to town on while they watch football.  But I also watched my lovely lady friends go hard into these wings while we gossiped and talked about how much we like Amy Schumer.  So there is that.  Equality in food enjoyment is the first step towards gender equality (not true/totally true.)

This chicken is, despite what you may think, a very good precursor to Thanksgiving.  Here's why:  because it is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a wholesome, all-american food.  This is the perfect antidote to Thanksgiving because it is eff-you-I-do-what-I-want-food.  Just trust me.

 Cheeto spectrum.

Cheeto spectrum.

CHEETO FRIED CHICKEN WINGS

  • 6 chicken wings
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 2 cups cheeto dust (cheetos pulverized in a plastic bag using a heavy object, or in a food processor, depending on your level of adulthood)
  • oil, for frying

Note:  I used half spicy cheetos and half regular.  any kind is fine, but the crunchy cheetos lend themselves to frying a little better than the poofy ones.

Dump the buttermilk over the chicken, stir to cover it all and let sit for at least an hour,  and up to twelve hours.  More soaking = more succulent chicken.  Pro tip, y’all.

Place the Cheeto dust in a bowl and dredge the buttermilk coated chicken through, making sure to cover the whole piece.  Then, cover the chicken with buttermilk again and re-dredge.  Two cheat layers BECAUSE YOURE WORTH IT.  don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Place the chicken in a frying pan full of oil (you can use a couple inches and the cheetos will get very brown, like mine, or you can go full frying and they will maintain more orange.  Do what feels right.  The oil should be very hot.  Throw a couple chunks of Cheeto in there and if it doesn’t pop and hiss, it isn’t hot enough.

Cook chicken for about 6 minutes, turning frequently, until all sides are browned and the meat is cooked through.  For this particular recipe, it is ok to poke a hole to make sure it is cooked since you just deep fried Cheetos and all your dignity is probably already gone.  Whatever.

Serve immediately, garnish with more Cheetos (lol).